Strange dream

Okay, I will never drink a shot (or two) of Everclear before bed again, it feels like that stuff burned a hole in my stomach and it made me have some seriously messed up dreams…

I was looking in the mirror while brushing my hair and I noticed that the left side of my face, on my cheek, was peeling. Of course, I started to touch the spot and a tennis ball sized piece of flesh came off in my hand revealing a patch of black furry skin, it was kinda like the skin of a peach only instead of being orange it was black like mold; for some reason though I wasn’t scared. This is where the dream gets a little hazy; somehow I knew that I needed to complete a task in order to stop my skin from peeling, only I didn’t know what that task was. I remember walking into the mirror and on the other side of it was a warehouse type building. There were a lot of people in there and I began telling them to hurry because we were almost out of time but I have no idea what they were doing or how it was going to help me. The whole time I remained calm even though I felt like we were not going to make it.

When it became apparent that it was hopeless I walked back through the mirror into my bathroom and began brushing my hair again. In my mind I was saying that if “he” was going to come for me then I might as well at least have my hair pulled back into a pony tail. I have no idea who “he” is or why anyone would be looking for me but in my dream it made sense that the black fuzzy patch of skin meant that whoever was looking for me was getting close.

The creepy customer

It had to have been a full moon tonight because no one can be that creepy on a normal night.

A tall man wearing a filthy yellow Carhartt jacket walked up to the end of the bar and stared at me until I walked over to him. His brown eyes seemed to be looking into a different dimension or something because it felt like he couldn’t even see me. When I asked him what he wanted he ordered a shot of tomato juice, nothing mixed in with it, just plain old tomato juice. What kind of person orders a shot of plain old tomato juice? He slammed it down as soon as I set it in front of him and then he asked if I had an ice pick he could borrow so he could clean the wax out of his ears. “Hell no” I said and turned away from him to help the other customers at the bar.

I thought he would just go away after I was so abrupt with him but he just stood there and stared at me until I finally told him to get the hell outa the bar. He just smiled and said “The earworms are coming to get you.” And then he turned and walked away. I have no idea what earworms are and I don’t really care but now my skin feels all creepy crawly and I can’t stop scratching my arms every time I think about some stupid worms coming to get me. Why do I get all the crazy ones on my shift?

Nightmare

I dreamt of my mother last night. She was screaming at me as she always did when I was a child. In this dream time had receded and I was once again five years old, standing before her. Cigarette smoke surrounded us both, creating a thick fog of stench.

“You’re nothing but a mistake, one I should have gotten rid of a long time ago.” She yelled.

I noticed her hands were clenching, getting ready to strike me.

I tried to scream for her to stop but I couldn't. It was as if an invisible hand had wrapped itself around my throat, choking off the words before I could say them.

Her hand started clenching faster, signaling that the blow was soon to come.

My breath started coming in short, fast gulps.

She lifted her hand and I tried to turn away so I would not see it coming. As her hand swung towards me my voice finally erupted in a scream. I woke up before her hand connected, only to discover that I was alone in my apartment, screaming at nothing…

Rocking back and forth used to comfort me when I was a child but doesn’t have same effect any more so instead I reached for the pills on the night stand and washed the last one down with a shot of whiskey. As I waited for the familiar calm to overtake me I found myself looking up at the ceiling, begging an invisible deity for peace.

“God, please let the dreams stop.” I whispered

God doesn’t answer.

He never answers...

Something in the mirror

Had an interesting morning that has left me feeling like I am in a daze...

On my way to the bathroom I glanced in the mirror and saw something other than myself staring back, as I tried to comprehend what it was that I was seeing I noticed small boney fingers reaching through the mirror as if to touch me. I felt an uncontrollable urge to reach back and as I did an old familiar prayer started to echo through my mind, only it felt different than I remember…

Now I lay me down to sleep

I give to you my soul to keep

I know I'll die before I wake

So I leave my soul for you to take...

The phone rang about that time and snapped me out of the trance but when I answered it there was no one on the other end, just silence…

The first rejection

My name is Frankie, I know that’s a boy’s name and I am a girl so don’t bother pointing that out. It’s not short for anything girlish, it’s just Frankie, Period. I won’t bore you with stories of how my parents wanted a boy or how they thought it would be cute to give me what they believed was an androgynous name, that would be a lie and while I am good at telling lies this one wouldn’t serve any purpose. The truth is my mother was too stoned out of her mind when I was born to even recognize that I was a baby girl. My father you ask? Well, he wasn’t around by then. He had left around the time my mom was 5 months pregnant with me because he didn’t want the burden of looking after a kid. So, I guess you could say that my father was the first to reject me. In hind sight his rejection was the least cruel of them all; he just left, didn’t look back and didn’t pretend to care. My mother was the next to reject me, although it was only a half rejection- she still stayed around to raise me (if that's what you can call it). I say half rejected because she didn’t want me, she just wanted the check from the state that she got for keeping me.

The next rejection came when school started; you know how piranhas start to circle the one fish in the school that’s different from the rest? Swimming around and around him until one of them loses control and darts over for a bite, then, when the blood starts to flow they all start taking bites until they have eaten him alive? Well, I was the piranha in school that was different from the rest and the kids used to circle me, only they didn’t bite me, they devoured my will with their hateful words and accusations, day by day, year by year.